[Jan and Lorna are on what looks like a TV talk show set. It's 2:00 am and they are totally drinking wine from water bottles, relaxing, and having a grand old time.]

Welcome to the first ever Health Happy Hour with Dr. Pym and Dr. Dane.

The subtitle of the show is: Mutant Sex Machinery

The censors are going to have fun with this. Anyway, phone ( Read more... )

[The camera pans to a huge billboard not too far from the Bins. It has this image of a child holding up a sign that says, "Ask me why IMPORTS deserve hell." Jan gives it a few seconds before addressing the comm.]

This is extremely disconcerting. Every place has their right wing nutcases but this doesn't bode well for us. Not good.

[She sighs.Be ( Read more... )

Sorry, X-Men, it looks like you've lost another member. Lorna ported out. I can hold her things at the house since we have a lot of room.

[She pauses. Probably to smoke a drink some more. Her voice is dry.]

It's really a shame. She was definitely the best girlfriend I ever had.

[You can decide if she's kidding or not, network.]

[Jan is chillen' outside a donut and coffee place, sunglasses on forever, having two donuts and a big ass coffee.]

Is everyone present and accounted for? Can we get some sort of roll call? I know this universe is forever screwing with us, so we should at least make sure everyone who is supposed to be here, is here.

[She pauses to drink her ice ( Read more... )

[Jan is sitting in the Manhattan import clinic, wearing her usual white coat and looking a bit better than her last network post, but not much. It's been over a month since she's actually engaged the network directly-- strange for her. Anyone who knows her, knows that she's looking too thin and overworked-- par for the course. She also kind of ( Read more... )

[Jan sounds stuffed up, like she either has a cold or was crying, and her words are a little slurred, either from drinking or popping a few of Bruce Banner's old meds. Every so often, she pauses to smoke. You can't see her and it's probably better that way. Whatever the case, she doesn't sound good. Basically, the default for depressed!Ultimates. ( Read more... )

[Jan looks very uncomfortable. She is sitting in the shiny kitchen of the New Fratvengers house but does not look happy.]

Hi, network. Would anyone who is "technically able" happen to be free? Hank made this-- this security system or something that talks and judges and I really--

[A voice comes from the walls. The house sounds a little like Miss ( Read more... )

[Have a shot of the new Fratvengers house. It pretty much looks exactly like their old one, except the floors are less sticky. A little. For now.Our house is done and I just want to personally thank everyone who helped rebuild it. It means a lot to us ( Read more... )

[Jan is standing in front of the Fratvengers wreckage, wearing a slightly differently Wasp outfit than usual (yellow and black, this time), sunglasses, and Jubilee-esque long yellow jacket. Because of the sunglasses, the look on her face is indeterminable.]

What happened to my house?

And where's my dog?

[She finally takes off the sunglasses, ( Read more... )

[ the video opens to a lab---the same one that appeared in this post, some months back. It's quiet, save for the soft beeps of machines running cycles, and the distorted murmur of a capekiller's voice ( Read more... )